Tuesday, January 17, 2012

When


When I fail, You call me Beloved.
When I overeat, You call me Beloved.
When my house is a mess, You call me Beloved.
When my children are disrespectful, You call me Beloved.
When my laundry room is overrun with dirty clothes, You call me Beloved.
When my bank account is overdrawn, You call me Beloved.
When I mismanage my finances, You call me Beloved.
When I lash out verbally, You call me Beloved.
When I gain weight, You call me Beloved.
When my tears will not stop flowing, You call me Beloved.
When shame keeps me away from You, You call me Beloved.
When I'm wallowing in self-pity, You call me Beloved.
When I am a bad mother, when I am a complete and utter failure, still You call me Beloved!
           _______________________________________________________

I've needed the truth of my belovedness repeated over and over today.  On a day like today, bombarded by the enemy's attacks, that truth is my refuge.  As I meditate on the unfathomable, incomprehensible, lavish, ridiculous, inexhaustible love of God (and not just a general love towards all creation but a focused, personal, intimate and individual love for ME specifically), the pain and sorrow and anger are ebbing; in their place comes the peace and contentment of Christ.

If you are having a hard day, feeling very much in the enemy's cross-hairs, the accusations from the Accuser flying fast and furious.......I hope the reminder that you are loved more than you could ever possibly grasp lifts your eyes from yourself and the countless ways you are not enough onto the God who IS ENOUGH!  Oh, I acknowledge that there is truth in the accusations, "I won't deny the worst you can say about me,"* but I remind the condemner and myself that not even the biggest, ugliest, dirtiest dart in Satan's arsenal can separate me from Christ's love.

Yes, I have failed a million different times and a million different ways, but that DOES NOT CHANGE THE UNCHANGEABLE FACT THAT I AM BELOVED!!!  It doesn't matter that I don't deserve love.  I AM loves me!  I AM says that my new name is Beloved!  And there is no asterisk after "Beloved."

Here it is, my promise, straight from God's Word, "I'll call the unloved and make them beloved." (Romans 9:25b, The Message).  Today I am clinging to Him and the uncertainty of His unfailing love ........desperate, needy, unworthy but oh so very very grateful!

*Jason Gray's song,  I Am New, came flooding into my mind; this quote comes from those lyrics.