Joy Through Obedience

"My happy place is my obedient place." --Beth Moore 

From my own personal experience, I know that this statement is true.  To be honest, I've had to learn that truth the hard way...by experiencing its opposite.  Too many times I have been disobedient, stubbornly insisting on my own way and refusing to bend my knee, and the end result of that has always, always, always been pain, brokenness, emptiness, dissatisfaction and extreme unhappiness, even depression.  

Praise be to God...He never gave up on me, but gently whispered to me of a better way.  He blessed my first baby steps of obedience by showering me in a flood of "good and perfect gifts!"

One night in particular stands out in my memory.  I had promised my husband a massage when we went to bed that night, but we had gotten into a quarrel that evening.  I don't remember the impetus for the argument or the exact words spoken (or more likely, knowing us at the time, not "spoken" but rather "hurled like weapons").  I do remember the feeling of separation as we lay side by side in bed that night.  It was more than a "wedge" between us; it was a "Grand Canyon" of hurt feelings! 

Into my indignant, self-righteous heart, Jesus whispered, "Give him the massage."

"No way!  Not until he apologizes!  Did you hear what he SAID to me, God?!?!"

"Give him the massage."

I lay in that bed arguing with Jesus for a long time.  No matter what I said, He kept gently insisting, "Give him the massage."  I knew I had a choice to make.  I didn't have to obey!  I knew Jesus wouldn't take over my brain and nervous system, seize control of my muscular system, and make "massage giving" an involuntary act like breathing!  The age-old choice presented to the Israelites in Deuteronomy 30 was presented to me:  Choose.  God's way or my way.  Blessing or curse. Life or death.  The choice lay with me.  

Finally, I surrendered my will to His.  The ONLY reason I reached out to touch my husband that night was my love for my Savior.  NOTHING in me wanted to serve my husband, but my love for Jesus ultimately compelled me to the place of obedience.

The instant I touched my husband, I was flooded with divine love for him.  Believe me....I know my heart, and that kind of love does NOT come from me.  My heart in that moment was anything BUT loving, but because of my obedience, God gave me the privilege of experiencing the Father's Heart.  Sinful, selfish me became a conduit of GOD'S LOVE for my husband.  What a privilege it was!  There are no words capable of describing the love of the Father!  (It was warm and real and total and substantial and absolute and bottomless and safe, so thick it's almost palpable, so overwhelming nothing else matters.  I recognized that love as the treasure my heart has always longed for.)

My husband received the massage that night, but I was the one who was TRULY  blessed!  Joy?  Yes!  Awed by grace?  Yes!  Wrecked by His love?  Yes!  So, so grateful?  Yes, yes, yes!

And I could have missed it. I could have missed it so easily.  I almost did.  Clinging to my rights, my way, my feelings, my will, ME, ME, ME!  I can't base my decisions on ME because my thinking is distorted;  I have those "deformed desires" James talks about that carry within them the seeds of self-destruction.    Yes, "there is a way that seems right to a woman but the end is death."  I've experienced too many deaths in my life!  I need God's wisdom, desperately.  Only by obeying His directions do I find JOY and so much more... the life that is truly life!

When


When I fail, You call me Beloved.
When I overeat, You call me Beloved.
When my house is a mess, You call me Beloved.
When my children are disrespectful, You call me Beloved.
When my laundry room is overrun with dirty clothes, You call me Beloved.
When my bank account is overdrawn, You call me Beloved.
When I mismanage my finances, You call me Beloved.
When I lash out verbally, You call me Beloved.
When I gain weight, You call me Beloved.
When my tears will not stop flowing, You call me Beloved.
When shame keeps me away from You, You call me Beloved.
When I'm wallowing in self-pity, You call me Beloved.
When I am a bad mother, when I am a complete and utter failure, still You call me Beloved!
           _______________________________________________________

I've needed the truth of my belovedness repeated over and over today.  On a day like today, bombarded by the enemy's attacks, that truth is my refuge.  As I meditate on the unfathomable, incomprehensible, lavish, ridiculous, inexhaustible love of God (and not just a general love towards all creation but a focused, personal, intimate and individual love for ME specifically), the pain and sorrow and anger are ebbing; in their place comes the peace and contentment of Christ.

If you are having a hard day, feeling very much in the enemy's cross-hairs, the accusations from the Accuser flying fast and furious.......I hope the reminder that you are loved more than you could ever possibly grasp lifts your eyes from yourself and the countless ways you are not enough onto the God who IS ENOUGH!  Oh, I acknowledge that there is truth in the accusations, "I won't deny the worst you can say about me,"* but I remind the condemner and myself that not even the biggest, ugliest, dirtiest dart in Satan's arsenal can separate me from Christ's love.

Yes, I have failed a million different times and a million different ways, but that DOES NOT CHANGE THE UNCHANGEABLE FACT THAT I AM BELOVED!!!  It doesn't matter that I don't deserve love.  I AM loves me!  I AM says that my new name is Beloved!  And there is no asterisk after "Beloved."

Here it is, my promise, straight from God's Word, "I'll call the unloved and make them beloved." (Romans 9:25b, The Message).  Today I am clinging to Him and the uncertainty of His unfailing love ........desperate, needy, unworthy but oh so very very grateful!

*Jason Gray's song,  I Am New, came flooding into my mind; this quote comes from those lyrics.

From "Good Girl" to "God Girl"

It's been over a month since I have posted.  It's not because I haven't been writing, and it's certainly not because God hasn't been moving.  It's just that I fall back into the fear of being vulnerable.  I guess that's really pride when it comes down to it, and I struggle with this sin.  Our culture teaches us to be "image builders," and it takes courage to be authentic and transparent.  But the truth is....I want to bring my Father glory more than I want to guard my reputation.  So I will bare my soul once again in what feels like a very public forum, knowing that my story once again shows my sinfulness and the darkness that lurks in my own heart but it magnifies my God who is bigger and more powerful than my darkness!!!  What follows was written almost a month ago, and I am still marveling at the work of the LORD!  Read and marvel with me.

"This past weekend, I joined seventeen other women from Hope-Covenant in Crystal Lake as we traveled to Covenant Harbor in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin for Fall Fellowship.  Many prayers were lifted ahead of time, for God to get a hold of hearts in new and fresh ways and asking Him to bind hearts together in the unity that is only available through Jesus Christ!  Boy, did He ever answer!  While I prayed those prayers anticipating a closer connection with the women from my church, God had a much bigger, better, more beautiful answer in mind!

Praise God.....He dealt with me this weekend, shining His light into the deepest, darkest places of my heart and revealing to me the UN-God (i.e., sin) that dwelt there.  Oh, how badly I wanted to be good.  I wanted my heart to be full of love for all people.  I so wanted to be like my Savior!  But all the wanting in the world did not make it so.

The truth is....I was taught bigotry and prejudice as a child.  People that were in positions of authority above me and claimed to be following Christ and proclaiming His Word used Scripture to plant seeds of hatred or superiority in my heart.  When they noticed that I seemed to be color blind, they took me aside and brought me to Genesis 9 and the sons of Noah.  They read to me the story of Ham and the shame that was upon Him for viewing his father's nakedness and how Noah pronounced a curse upon Ham and his descendants and sentenced them to be slaves to the other brothers.  I was then told that black people descend from Ham, and they are a cursed race; this is why they have been enslaved throughout history and to intermarry is forbidden by God and would be to bring that curse upon yourself.

Oh, how it grieves my heart that the very Word of God is used to promote Satan's agenda!  The father of lies who seeks our death and destruction is behind every form of division and strife and hostility.  I remember something inside of me rebelling at their words, but I was too young to identify those words as lies so they sank into my soul with the ring of truth because of who they had come from and in whose Name they had supposedly been spoken.

As I grew and my faith became my own and I started to seek God for myself, I knew that what I had been taught was indeed wrong!  I read in the Bible that God is no respecter of persons and that His children include people from all nations, colors, tribes and tongues.  But the bad seed had already been planted in my heart and taken root.  The problem is that I had become blind to it.

I had deceived myself (or perhaps, more accurately, the enemy of my soul had deceived me) into thinking that no vestiges of that sin of bigotry remained in my heart.  But on a subconscious level, I can see that it was always there.  When I had contact with an African-American, even my niece, Laylah, who is half black......I won't say that I did not love her because that would be untrue.  But I was not open to fully loving her, if that makes sense.  There was a part of my heart that held back somehow, and when I would brush up against the edges of that coldness, when my gut-level reaction would be to see the "other" as "less than," I would inwardly recoil from the ugliness inside and deny it or try to talk myself out of it.

The only problem is:  You cannot talk yourself out of sin.  You cannot "manage" or "control" the sinfulness of your own heart.  There is only one cure to take care of sin once and for all, and that is by taking it to the cross.

On Saturday, September 24, 2011, as I sat by the soothing and peaceful water of Geneva Lake and surrendered my heart to a thorough examination by the Great Physician, He made His diagnosis.  I saw as clearly as if viewing an X-ray held up to the light; my "spiritual X-ray" revealed a wall or barrier present in my heart.  It was subtle.  No one on the outside could have seen it.  Imperceptible to the human eye, it was not imperceptible to my God!

I feel as if so much of the rest of my life, who I will become and how God will be able to use me, hinged upon my response in that moment of divine revelation.  With His power and strength inside of me, I was able to overcome my denial and embrace His truth.  Right there in that boat house, I prayed a prayer of confession:  "Honestly, God, I admit there is a tiny part of my heart that sees 'other' as 'less than.'  I can't change that about myself, God, but I admit it.  I confess before You that it is SIN, and I ask YOU to take my racism and prejudice from my heart.  Purify me and make me into YOUR image."

And I am writing to tell you that God is still in the miracle-working business!  God is in the business of life transformation!  He is alive and moving and at work in this world!  Praise His Holy Name.....He heard my prayer and answered!  Immediately the "barrier" or "wall" (that even the day before I was not consciously aware of) was GONE!  And not only that, but He is flooding my heart with His love for the very ones I used to see as "other."  Oh, He is good beyond belief!  HODY TOW!!!!  I feel so alive and free; places I didn't even know were dead and in bondage are now vibrating and pulsating with resurrection power, and I feel like I am going to explode from the sheer joy of it all!

I want to proclaim His Goodness from the rooftop....to shout my testimony in a voice loud enough that all the people of this world would hear and praise the WONDER and RIGHTEOUSNESS and POWER and MAJESTY and HEALING TOUCH of my God who can bring dead things back to life!  What unbelievably Great News!

I thank God because I know that He desires to use me for His Glory, and I have to be pruned before I can be useful.  I thank God that His pruning process, though momentarily painful, yields a harvest of abundance and blessing beyond anyone's imagination.  I thank Him for His discipline, because I know it's a sign of His great, great love.  And I thank Him that He still answers prayer.....that He responds to the cries of desperate, needy people unable to save themselves.

My second prayer out by the side of that lake came as I grieved over how much damage has been done in the Name of God, wrestling with the fact that the "Christians" I knew and loved in my youth could be so misguided.  How, Lord?!?!?  How can people who claim to follow You use Your Word to propagate hatred and bigotry?!?!?

"Heavenly Father, Keep me from seeing what I want to see in the pages of this book.  Help me to see with clear and Holy Spirit-filled eyes.  Interpret the Scriptures for me.  Teach me by YOUR Holy Spirit!  It is so easy for people in general and me in particular to justify my positions and use the Bible to back me up.....to authorize mywords, my thoughts, my deeds, my actions and reactions instead of the other way around.  May I come seeking TRUTH.....not "self" or "approval" but YOU.....not twisting truth to match my agenda!  Thank You for meeting me, Lord!  Thank You for revealing to me my "Nineveh."  Use my "awakening" to further Your Kingdom purposes here on earth!  I ask this in the precious and holy name of Your son, My Savior, Jesus Christ.  Amen (Let it be so!).

Oh, let me tell you....nothing feels better than a clean heart before God.  I would encourage anyone reading this to not be afraid of the pain of conviction and confession because true life awaits on the other side of that pain!"

1 John 1:9, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."  But verse 10 goes on to say, "If we claim we have not sinned, we make Him out to be a liar and His word has no place in our lives."

John 8:36, "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."

To God Be The Glory!!!!!

A Child's Thanksgiving

If we are open to it, grace is all around us.  "All is grace," as Ann Voskamp repeats over and over in her "take-your-breath-away-it's-that-good" book, One Thousand Gifts.

I found this prayer last night while cleaning my daughter's closet.  I am so thankful that my little girl's eyes are open to Grace!  And my prayer is that she does not lose her "grace-eyes" as she grows.  Oh, Father....cause her to see.  Cause her to see YOUR fingerprints everywhere she looks!!!

From the heart of my little girl to her Heavenly Father:

"Father,
Thank you for being such a giving God.  I am so blessed.  You didn't need to be so gracious.  We all often forget how blessed we are....but I don't want to.  I want to embrace all You have given me....even the smallest things.  Like the five senses.  You didn't have to give me sight, but You did!  Thank You!  If I didn't have the gift of sight, I would never have been able to see the vivid colors of a blossom tree in the springtime. Also, You didn't need to give me the gift of being able to hear.  But You did!  Without it, I would never be able to hear the birds chirp in the morning.  Thank You so much for giving me this gift.  And thank You for giving me the gift of taste!  If you didn't give me this gift, I would have never been able to taste a sweet, juicy watermelon on a hot summer day.  And thank You for giving me the gift of smelling!  If I didn't have this gift, I wouldn't be able to smell the sweet aroma of a newly bloomed rose.  And last but not least, thank You for giving me the gift of touch!  Without this wonderful gift, I would never be able to feel the soft fur of a newborn puppy!  So my Lord, please give me a thankful heart that wants to praise You and thank You 24/7.  I thank You again, Father, for ALL You have done for me!
In Jesus' name, Amen."

I can think of no other way to end this post than with a Scripture that echoes what's in my heart right now:  "Nothing could make me happier than getting reports that my children continue diligently in the way of Truth!" -3 John 1:4 (The Message)

Finding Grace in the Public Schools

Fifteen years ago, I became a wife.  Fourteen years ago, I became a mother.  For thirteen years following the birth of my eldest, I allowed my children to define me.  My life revolved around them.  Wanting to shelter and protect them from this world, I decided to homeschool them.

Last year, I was prompted by God to release my children.  During prayer time, I sensed Him asking me to trust Him with their lives and demonstrate that trust by enrolling them in the public school system.  I cannot adequately express in words my sheer terror at even the thought of loosening my grip on my daughter and son.  I struggled with God for months on this issue.

Don't get me wrong:  I think homeschooling can be absolutely awesome, and I applaud the many many men and women who are doing it and doing it well.  However, for me personally (though I could not see it at the time and would not have been able to admit it), my motives for homeschooling had become impure.  I wanted to keep my children in my own "Garden of Eden," separated from the "big, bad world."  But God gave up His only Son for that world; Christ died for that world.  The people I saw as "other" and wanted to distance my precious babies from....God asks me to see those very people as potential brothers and sisters in Him.  He desires that I "move in" (as He instructed the Israelites when they were taken captive to Babylon in Jeremiah 29).  In other words, contrary to my fantasy of running off to join an Amish community, God is asking me to be culturally relevant in the time and place where I have been divinely positioned so that I can have a spiritual impact.

Ultimately, I surrendered my will.  Isaiah 55:9 is a verse I'm building my life upon, and this could be no exception.  I still didn't like His decision, but I was determined to obey anyway.  I felt akin to Abraham, asked to sacrifice his son, to lay Isaac down on the altar and offer him up to God.  (Yes, I know I'm being a bit melodramatic here, but I am a woman of strong emotion!)

I think somewhere along the way, my children had become my idols.  God read my heart.  He asked me the same question He asked the rich young ruler in Luke 18.  For me, it wasn't money that I had to give up, but it was something.  I was holding onto my children more tightly than I was holding onto my God.  He asked me to release my grip on everything but Him.  I could not do as the rich young ruler did and just walk away because I had experienced enough of God to echo the words of Peter in John 6:68, "Where else can I go?  You (Lord) have the words of everlasting life."

On the day I registered my children for public school, I cried all the way to the district office.  Reminding God that HE was the reason I was taking this step, I begged Him to bless my obedience by blessing my children.  I pleaded for His protection over Erica and Liam.

In hindsight, I can say that He has more than answered my prayers!  He has indeed blessed me beyond my wildest imagination!  One of the greatest gifts to come into the life of our family as a result of this act of obedience is the absolute privilege of welcoming precious young adults into our home and our lives.

I am ashamed to think of my old perspective and how myopic and self-centered I was.  Considering all the pros and cons of public education, I only thought of my family....weighing every decision by how it would affect the four people in my family of procreation.  Is that "taking up my cross, denying myself, and following Him?"

By entering the public school arena, God has expanded my sphere of influence.  I absolutely love my children's friends; they know that so it should be no surprise that they enjoy spending time with us.  People like to be around people who like them!  That must be why people clamored to be with Jesus.  He loved them, and that love was shown and felt and drew the crowds to Him.

My daughter's friends open up and talk to me.  They ask my advice.  They go to church with us.  They volunteer with us.  They listen to my stories; when I relate a passage of Scripture and how God spoke to me through it, they are hungry and thirsty for more and ask questions and engage in conversations.  For some of these young people, it is their first exposure to the God of the Bible.  They don't know about King David or Daniel or Esther or Ruth or Joshua or Elijah, and (truthfully) they are more enthralled and listen more attentively than my own children do!

I praise God for expanding my sphere of influence and doing "exceedingly, abundantly above all that I could ask or dream or imagine" (Ephesians 3:20)!  I prayed "keep them safe," but He made them lights!  I prayed, "don't let them be hurt!"  Oh, why was my vision so short-sighted?  Why didn't I pray that God would make Erica and Liam healing agents in the broken lives and hurting hearts of their fellow classmates?!?!?!  I was sending them into the trenches of warfare with a survivor mentality when God has a vision for them to not just survive but to thrive!

Father, give me Your eyes!  Cause me to see!  I want Your vision....for myself, my loved ones, and our world!

Re-Discovering Grace in Honduras

I spent a week in Honduras at the end of March.  My heart was broken countless times on that trip.  The first incident occurred shortly after arriving.  On the drive from the airport to the missionary retreat where we were staying, we peppered Valerie (our host and driver) with all sorts of questions regarding the people she and her husband serve, the issues they face, the obstacles to their work, et cetera.  In the course of that conversation, Valerie related the story of a local Honduran woman (I'll call her "Maria.").

"Maria" discovered a terrible truth about her husband....He was sexually abusing their two young daughters.  Maria approached a local missionary for help.  The missionary responded by taking Maria to the police department to file a report.  The husband was arrested and put in jail.....for one night.  The very next day, he was released, returned home, tied his wife to a chair, beat her within an inch of her life, and then forced her to watch as he performed despicable acts on her precious babies.  To this day, that man is in his home.  The police refuse to do anything.

Tears streamed down my face as I listened to Valerie share the truth of Maria's life.*  As the tears cascaded from my eyes, I was railing to God:  'God, where does that woman go?  Is there justice for her?  God, I accept that You are the "Ancient of Days," that You see every act of injustice and You will judge righteously.....if not in this life, then in the life to come.  But my heart wants "justice" for that husband now!  I think that surely in this case, Lord, You would not hold it against me if I took this man's life.  I'd be doing everyone, even You, a favor, right?  If he's murdered, then the "good guys" win, right?  God?'

I continued to wrestle with God in the days to come.  Finally, I stopped accusing and started listening.  The answer I got was, frankly, not what I wanted to hear!  God revealed to me HIS heart towards this "monster," this "child molester," this "abuser," this example of "depravity"............and the answer was love.  I didn't want to accept this answer!  Love?!?!  No, he deserves punishment, he deserves Hell, the lake of fire, agony and "gnashing of teeth."  He doesn't deserve love!

Slowly, the magnitude of God's response penetrated the hardness of my heart.  Tears again flowed freely at the rediscovery of grace....grace for the one who doesn't deserve it, grace for the object of my scorn and rage, grace for him even while he is still committing his crimes and flaunting it!  Oh, the depths of God's love!  There is truly nothing we can do to cause God to love us any more or any less!  He loves because He is love!  He loves because it's His nature, and He cannot deny His own nature!

The all-encompassing nature of God's grace was something my heart rebelled against at first (I silently screamed, 'not for this man! not for this situation!' ).  But when I let the truth of this sink in, I saw that it's good news!  Glorious news!  The John Wayne Gacys of this world are just as loved by Him as the Mother Teresas!  If that does not sit well in my soul at first, it is only  because I think of myself as better than "those people," better than the really wretched sinners!

"Oh, Father, forgive me for ever thinking that I would make a good God, sitting as judge over others.  I thank You that I am not God for surely "your ways are higher than my ways and your thoughts are higher than my thoughts."  I have been so stingy with your grace, lavishing it upon those I deem worthy of it.  I know the root of this gracelessness is centered in my forgetting how much I have been forgiven.  Keep me ever mindful of my position as undeserved recipient of Your unfathomable grace.  The vast riches of that grace defy words!  Then, cognizant of Your grace to me, empower me to extend Your grace to the people in my life, every. single. one.  Amen."

-------------------------------------------
*I remember sitting in that van looking out the window at the beautiful mountains, marvelling at the glory of God so visibly on display in the stunning landscape that surrounded me, yet feeling the dichotomy of heaviness and oppression in the midst of this magnificence.  On the one hand, this small country in Central America is so blessed; God's fingerprints are apparent everywhere you look.  How I wish that was the whole story!  Unfortunately, there is a spiritual darkness that hangs over Honduras.  The third poorest country in Latin America, poverty wreaks havoc in far too many lives, in a way that is difficult for most North Americans to imagine.  (Can you imagine living on top of a massive pile of garbage, scouring through trash to find anything you can use or ingest just to stay alive one more day?  Can you imagine birthing a baby here where children fight vultures, cows and stray dogs for anything edible?  People who are made in the image of God and have inherent worth and dignity woven into their DNA are forced to live like animals!  Even if you've seen it with your own eyes, it's still extremely difficult to comprehend.  How can one reconcile that life in the dump of Tegucigalpa and life in the wealthy suburbs of Chicago both exist on the same planet?  It feels like a gigantic tear has occurred in the cosmos.)  The poverty affects all aspects of life and is a contributing factor in so many other social ills including corruption, crime, gangs, drugs, devastation following natural disasters, disease, the list just goes on and on.  I just remember the power of that moment, having my eyes opened to the dual realities and trying to somehow fit this new information into the world as I knew it......an impossible task.  Instead, this trip became a defining moment for me, forcing a paradigm shift.  I pray I never again return to what I once called "normal" but now see as ignorance.

"And a little child will lead them...."

Today much-needed grace came to me in the form of a three year old girl.  Her name is Arianna, and I've been considering a request to start caring for her on a regular basis.  I've been putting off the decision....wanted to wait until my children were both back in school (Liam starts next week.), then Ed has a week long vacation and I'm looking forward to that time together, just the two of us.  But last night the phone rang; Arianna's father was on the line.  Due to a change in circumstances, he had no sitter for Thursday and Friday this week; would I be available?

Truthfully, I felt put on the spot.  I didn't want to do it on such short notice.  I was planning on preparing first:  a trip to the library to check out books that would interest a preschooler, craft supplies bought and crafts planned out, my closets all organized, the carpets professionally cleaned, etc. etc.  My emotions shouted, 'I'm not ready for this!'  But I listened for God's whisper, and I felt prompted to say, "yes!"

God knew what He was doing.  Without this "encouragement" of being faced with a pretty dire need that I could help meet, I could have postponed my start date indefinitely.  The house would never be clean enough.  I would never be organized enough.  I'd never feel one hundred percent "ready."  I just had to jump in and trust God; what I lacked in lesson plans or structured schedule, His Holy Spirit could supply through divine intervention.

Truthfully, I've been feeling kind of down lately.  Depression is something I have always struggled with, and it didn't just automatically disappear the moment that I got saved.  I carry a great unnamed sadness in my soul, and it has haunted me since I was young.  Tears are rarely far from the surface.  According to Psalm 56:8, God enters each tear in His ledger.  I have a feeling my ledger is one of the thickest in His possession!  (Jeremiah's might come close!)

On top of this perpetual aching, I've carried the weight of condemnation.  I have felt so guilty for feeling this DIScontent.  Isn't joy a fruit of the Spirit?  Do I not have the Holy Spirit?  What's wrong with me, Lord?  I'm such a mess!

Recently, I have come to realize that there IS a reason for this melancholy!  There IS something wrong, but it's not me...it's called "the fall."  It's a part of the human condition here on earth.  Some people just feel it more deeply than others, but the Bible tells us that the whole earth is groaning with the weight of sin and its terrible consequences.

Enter Arianna.  How I thank God for little children; surely the Lord is with them in a special way!  When Jesus walked the face of this earth, children were drawn to Him.  His love, His joy and delight, must have been so evident in the presence of little ones.  He welcomed them and held them and blessed them.  I don't think much has changed in 2,000 years.

Today with Arianna, I was given a gift....the reminder that though there is much wrong with this world, there is still much that is right!  Today with Arianna, I was with my Lord.  To see the world through a child's eyes is to see hope and wonder and excitement and joy.  Only three and a half years on this earth, Arianna is fresh from heaven and still carries with her the innocence that we have lost.

We spent two hours at the park this morning, and the highlight of her day was....the birds!?!  How often have I walked that same path, ignoring their song?  It's just background noise to me; absorbed in my own thoughts and concerns, I don't even notice the beauty of their singing.

But Arianna.....she was spellbound by the bird songs.  She thought they were singing just for her, and she starting singing back to them.  She called them her "best friends."  Arriving at the park, she bypassed the playground equipment to "play" with the birds.  As they swooped and soared in circles around the field, she ran below them, chasing them and calling for them to "chase" her.  To a child who sees "friends" in wild animals, how precious will life be under the rule and reign of the Great Redeemer!

Imagine....."the wolf will romp with the lamb, the leopard sleep with the kid.  Calf and lion will eat from the same trough, and a little child will tend them.  Cow and bear will graze the same pasture, their calves and cubs grow up together, and the lion eat straw like the ox.  The nursing child will crawl over rattlesnake dens, the toddler stick his hand down the hole of a serpent.  Neither animal nor human will hurt or kill on my holy mountain.  The whole earth will be brimming with knowing God-Alive, a living knowledge of God ocean-deep, ocean-wide."  (Isaiah 11:6-9, The Message)

I praise God because He is bigger than my brokenness!  He reigns over depression!  He is mightier than the "blues!"  This innate knowing of "all-that-is-not right" will one day be put to rest.  In the fullness of time, He will make all things right again.  Earth and all living creatures will experience life the way He intended it from the beginning.

I can hardly wait for the return of Christ, for the one thousand years He will reign here on earth as King of Kings and Lord of Lords!  I look forward to the day when all His enemies are defeated, even death itself!  What joy!  What celebrating!  What gladness there will be!
     me........................without the depression!
     Jim........................without the wheelchair!
     Sharon...................without the arthritis!
     Isaac and Elijah......without the autism!
     Michelle.................without the braces!
What a glorious, glorious, glorious day that will be!  How I pray that Christ returns quickly!  The whole earth is groaning and in pain without Him!

I thank Him today for the hope that this life is not all there is!  A better day is coming!  I thank Him for His good work of restoring and redeeming and rescuing and renewing.  Truly, He does make all things new, and He makes them beautiful in His time.

I am humbled that it took a three year old child to remind me of that truth.  Being with Arianna today gave me a foretaste of that coming Kingdom.  God used her to rejuvenate my weary heart and breathe life into my spirit.  Her father thanked me profusely when he picked her up, but the truth is....I'm the one who is most grateful.  Amazing grace indeed!